Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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