Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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