I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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