so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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