party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
