Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
