I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
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