Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
