Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The maid of honor just puked.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
