"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
