dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
