pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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