I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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