All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Help. Why am I so naked?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
