I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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