oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
