i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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