remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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