so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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