You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
