Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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