Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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