I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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