I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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