tell your sister to shave her snatch
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
