Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize