bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
