i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
