u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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