mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
