Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
pray to the hookup gods
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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