she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
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I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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