dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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