Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
