i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
