The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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