As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
