can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
