Me too!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
