At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
