I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
