And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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