You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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