Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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