just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
