He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
