Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
