Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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