If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize