Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
