me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
we're so committed to being not committed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
