I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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