Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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