dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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