Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
