Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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